J

Jane here
Pete is a genius at all this techie stuff but has great difficulty distinguishing his right from his left. This can lead to some interesting situations at junctions.
Picture the scene. I'm in front.
Me 'Which way?'
Him 'Right' (I point to the right with my thumb, just to check)
Him 'No, right'
Me 'That is right'
Him 'Left then'
Me 'Alright'
Him 'No left'
Good grief

Or at a T junction. Right or left I say. Straight on. I can't it's a river. Just follow the road round that way....So he goes ahead to show the way.
A half mile gap opens up and I finally catch up at a field gate, his bike is tossed carelessly in a bed of nettles,wheel still spinning, his head visible over the hedge. From this I deduce that he has taken the opportunity to go for an al fresco pee. At this point I see the farmer come tanking down the lane on his quad bike. At the same time an elderly lady with a poodle is approaching from the opposite direction. 'Best get a move on' I shout. 'I can't rush these things' he says. This has happened so often we now have no shame.

Sometimes in these fields there will be a sign up along the lines of 'Proudly growing British wheat for The Acme Bread Company' or some such.
Memo to self: Avoid Acme thick sliced for the next year or so. J.